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) Get straight honest advice on tidying yourself up. You will not be able to register as a full member here but can post freely as a guest. As they become adults, they simply turn this relationship dynamic around and start acting out the "abuser" side of the relationship dynamic they have learned.By choosing to be the aggressor and abuser, they may get their first sense of taking control over their own destiny and not being at the mercy of others.Abuse situations must be lived in and experienced before their internal logic makes any sense. Such people internalized a particular relationship dynamic, namely the complementary roles of "abuser" and "victim".They are familiar with and fully understand the terror of being the helpless victim from their own childhood experience.